Irresponsible Zuzia

I want to write to the Poet that I am irresponsible, by the way, maybe I will finally write to Undera, my irresponsibility, Brilliant mentalWay training! a gentle conversation with my grandfather that I don't think I'm an adult man yet and I'm fascinated by something else (describe what I think exactly, my parents' programming, my demotivation and its fallout, about my grandfather's words, suicidal desire, worrying about my grandfather - all this must be maximum accuracy ). Yesterday was written with a delay, and because it is time to write down the second day, you will have to stress a little. Fortunately, yesterday I more or less pointed out yesterday's day. At 4 am I still couldn't sleep. I was looking for traffic jams. I think I slept a little bit, because at 9:00 am I got up, well rested and well rested. I was getting ready, it was Ash Wednesday and Grandpa and Dad wanted to go downstairs to church at 11:00. That night I also listened to the lectures on my grandfather's phone: Lewandowski's Code of the Mind, is a brilliant mentalWay video and a clunky product by Marcin Wr�bel. As I already mentioned, I think to write to him what I think about him and his products, both the advantages of his person and the disadvantages of his products - he does not create, he just copies! Before 11 we were in front of the church. I went up towards the florist looking for lilies. Unfortunately they didn't have one and I went downstairs near the photographer. They didn't have them there either, but my grandmother suggested other things - very expensive, of course, and here was her mistake. she could suggest something cheaper, use a technique or this or that. In addition, she offered bad things, she wanted to give me something really expensive. But I gave her a chance and said I would look around and at one point I found a nice blue pillow. Then he shows me that it can be placed in a teddy bear and then on a pillow. I liked it very much, so I decided to buy it 29 PLN. It was actually a brilliant gift !!! I went back to the flower shop and asked the eagle. It is a pity that I pack it in such stupid paper, as I would prefer foil wrapping. In Krakow, when I was with Kasia, I don't know why, but they packed this bouquet in this way, and then it was not very professional, my grandmother actually did it in an act of desperation: D: D I went downstairs and on the way I met a chim next to the gazda. It turns out that only from tomorrow he lives formally in Rabka, renovated his flat, has a new girlfriend, Pauline, and bought curtains. I would like to meet him - these are the people I call real, genuine. Szymek is a person who could be a friend, I hope that someday we will meet. I went on the bus, I guess I used a technique on this driver subconsciously. I said that the inhabitant, I put away my backpack and that I would show it soon. I'm looking for it, then I asked if it was Ed-mar, the driver confirmed. I took out the monthly with the ID, the driver did not even look closely (I doubt that the authenticity could be checked in one second). On the way to Krakow I finished listening to mentalWay - I really liked the training of this guy and by the way I was taking notes in a torn A4 notebook - or rather a torn block. I want to fill up with my notes, you can see the progress of my mind development. I was in Krakow a little before 1pm. So I went to the old-school samsung showroom, but they didn't have my phone yet. The guy told me to call at the end of the week. I came back, looked around for the arcade I had seen once - there were old pegasus games, gameboy, but I didn't find it. Apparently you have to go on bus no. 19. So I came back to the stop, before 2 p.m. Kasia came, I greeted her and gave her a gift. She really liked this pillow too - you could see that sweet smile on her face. She said I would have to make up a name for her now. We went for a walk on the Vistula River - a beautiful place for a walk, I watched the birds - I think I liked this landscape. For me it was an attraction, but probably not for Kasia, because she has her own pond under the house. I think I met the adult Karnicka - a part of me told me. I thought it was a friend of Kasia, but it was probably her. She was going with some two guests. I got a nice joke with the swan who started, I gave a comparison to Jambo-jet: D Kasia wanted to go to church, I was a little reluctant, but we were looking. There were 3 churches in the square itself. In the end, we visited a very little one, we stood there and in addition I yawned 10 times, which Kasia drew my attention to. Then we went to McDonald's, we spent a lot of time there. we thought about a name for this mascot. Finally I took my notebook / calendar and looked for the perfect name. There were 6 candidates in total: Klementynka, Wiktoria, Diana, Natalia, Zuzia and one more. I really wanted clementine or victories, but Kasia deleted them right away. I deleted the rest and she stayed like that: Zuzia :) And by the way, Kasia paid for our meal, she even bought me a large cola, which I did not ask for. I think she wanted to repay such a wonderful gift. After all, we still had a stupid game of drawing a Czech, it came out disgusting. After a few hours we went for a walk, but I said it was too cold for the Vistula River. Kasia took me to a terribly dark place, there was already one couple, so to speak, was busy with each other. we went across the street and, in a word, there I loved . I was wondering, now I can talk so much that most of my diary is activities, and in between there are great conversations on all possible topics ... When we finished, that girl was giving the boy a blowjob, but as soon as she saw us she finished immediately: D Kasia still claims that she certainly did not do what I think to him, so I ask her what? what do you think? did not give me any answer: D Anyway, she said that it is about 8 minutes to the gallery, but we were gentle with a good 25 and I missed the last bus to Rabka. Kasia decided to use this time somehow and spend it together. She said that whenever I refused her, she was afraid she couldn't say no to me and that she scared her a little. maybe next time I will say that "maybe I shouldn't because too often my hands refreshed me and I should slow down a bit or stop". Besides, I asked her to give me the address to Zakopane, where a room with a bathroom was only 30 PLN. I took Kasie away, I went to McDonald's to buy a large shake and wash my hands in the bathroom I went 22:05. On the bus, I wanted to keep listening to mentalWay, but somehow I focused on making a list that could help me with Strama tickets. At one point I decided that it would be good to write a text message so that my dad would bring me from cornflakes. I thought I would use light persuasion and wrote something like this: "Hey Dad. I know that he is writing late, it is evening and you probably won't want to come, but now you are going by bus through Zakopane and I hope that you will be able to come for your beloved son :(" - now this text seems to me a bit bad, but when I put it together it seemed brilliant. The problem is that I do not know why, but my grandfather's phone does not save the messages I sent. I got an uninteresting reply that they were worried, they do not ring all day and I do not deign to write. I thought that I took my grandfather's phone ... When my dad came to cornfield he was fucking mad at me. He said that Grandpa was already blue and pale and all red. I thought about God ... I am a very close person and I would not like anything to happen to him When I was home, for a few minutes I was stupid and hesitated to go inside. Grandpa told me some things that made me slightly depressed: that I don't think I have grown up yet, I am an irresponsible man and he sees that I am fascinated by something else. He said it in such a tone that I felt stupid, but the words hurt me. He did it great, but it got me started with a urge to take a gun and shoot myself in the head. I think that maybe somehow I get it and so I will. I do not want to swallow tablets because I am afraid of pain. And it's strange, because he wants to shoot himself in the mouth not because I'm depressed, but because I'm afraid: this is the rudeness that I recently saw in mcDonald, my irresponsibility and it seems that my grandfather's opinion, what he thinks about me, influenced his opinion. I really did care ... I wanted to write a lot of things on this subject, but I have been writing this diary for over an hour and we still need to write down today. So I will write my thoughts in points: - but to write to the poet that I am irresponsible - which results in my irresponsibility - programming by my parents that it didn't matter where I was - no mobile phone in youth because they did not want us to buy a top-up card - I do not use a mobile phone, it is an unnecessary device, it is only used for games, listening to music, browsing the web and watching movies - It hurt me that he did not notice other things about my views on life.