KrakowskiTaste of Freedom

February 19 - Krakow's Taste of Freedom Today is Tuesday, so like every Tuesday meeting with Rafal Pawlik. So I went to him at 8:30. As always, the door was slightly ajar. I go in and ask if there is anyone. So I enter a large room and it turned out that our neighbor was a drug addict and a drunkard from Jadzia zaryTY. I have nothing against him, I even think he's cool guy and I like him. So I entered the room where we usually have our talks and Rafal Pawlik came in a moment. He even asked, "I guess are you nervous?" I answer him with no. I could also add that it may seem to him because of this and I was running. For this guy (his name is Leszek from what I remember) he was doing driving tests. Traditionally tea - I chose green with cranberry and raspberry. We talked today about the fact that I cannot read the book, The Gift of Fear. He said it was interesting and in my words there is hate, anger, love, joy - but fear never appears. So he wonders what am I afraid of? I told him about my experiences in meditation in 2011. How I felt creativity, intelligence, power of mind then, I had to clean the room, tidied up the mess in my mind ... It was a beautiful experience, and it was going for it. I also mentioned how I am stuck in a vicious circle of experience for meditation. After the session was over, I went home. I ate 2 more onion sandwiches. In the morning I ate a lot of Nutella. I think I forgot to write in yesterday's report that I ate codeine last night. It was divine, I felt that codeine was better than Tramal. Returning, however, to today - we went to Krakow - I prepared temporarily - money, documents, telephone. It's good that my pension came today. My dad dropped me off almost directly at Bonifratrov, but when I saw that there were 14 people in the line before me, I decided to go and do other things. I got on the first tram no. 13 and I was met by the ticket control ... I showed my documents entitling me to a free ride. The first one I went to WSZIB to collect a certificate. I was surprised by the fact that there was only a copy of my certificate ... Strange, I was determined to attend this school and I was sure that there is also an original there. Well, I did not argue, I bought a plastic bag in the meat shop for 80 groszy to be able to store this document in what. Then I went to the Dietl Hospital, where they treated me with a neurotic heart attack two years ago. I took an x-ray of the spine for which I paid 11 zlotys. I was surprised that the spine seemed to "shine" in the photo. Interestingly, then, as if under the influence of a mental shock from my head, toxins / dead bacteria passed through my spine and spread throughout my body, giving you the training of blood density. To get to the hospital, in the street, I asked a girl for directions. I felt a bit of fear - after all, I hadn't picked up girls for a long time. Next direction Ochikara. Here I had a lot of thoughts - I imagined the conversation with the director, then I imagined him fighting for me, how he wanted me to stay. Eventually the conversation ended with a conversation with Mrs. secretary. There were no major problems. I felt a bit of regret, sadness that I could not study here - it was the school of my dreams! I imagined the director calling me tomorrow and asking why I left. I went to Tesco with stupid things. It was around 1pm - 2pm, the Bonifraters were open with Jolanta Palen from 3pm. I don't know why I went to Tesco, something my instincts guided me to. In tesko I received a message from Kaja "Hey Kotku: * I passed the exam !!!!". I congratulated and wrote that she would come to me. Then I thought, after all, I did not write anything I'm doing, and I was glad when Kaja wrote what was going on with her. So I wrote a second correction text message that I'm in Krakow and I'm dealing with a few things today. I think she did it nice because of that, and besides, she received 2 text messages from me. She also asked me for a few photos especially for her - but I hate taking pictures so much ... What should I send her? She might just write about it tomorrow, I don't know ... In Tesco I also got a message from Adam Paternoga. He was inviting me to a meeting tomorrow at their home. Cramp to go or not to go? I like the Christian religion, on the other hand, I would like to meet them - I like them, I like Maks's family. What to do? Maybe I will ask cards now? I just checked - I don't understand the interpretation of these cards ... I don't understand ... PS Oh, while I was in Wszibus, I threw a tegretol tablet. I was a bit afraid that there are webcams and it may be some kind of scandal with me. There was also a draw for a number for the dean's office. In general, the dean's office was moved up. In the waiting room I asked how I should behave - the students were eager to answer me. Coming back to the trip around Krakow - perhaps I will forget the fact that I went to Ochikara through the Debnica market and there I bought gum and coffee yoghurt with white poison or sugar in a nearby store. But he was good, and also kopiko. At Bonifratrov I met two interesting guests. I asked them how old they are, one is 23, the other is 29. I made an appointment with the one who was 29 on Facebook. He was a graphic designer, fasted 10 days, loved poetry - nice guy. I am glad that I was able to make a new acquaintance. We talked well. He also had a problem with his spine, he was helped by vitamin B. He took me to the fennel hospital. Maybe a little, and that was not on my hands, because I wanted to investigate the operation of the wifi network in this hospital, but since he went with me to the hospital. In the hospital, in the nephrology clinic, we also pissed in the toilet. Oh, you really wanted to pee. Awful. I was also afraid not to meet Martyna - my dad's friend, a nephrologist who also referred me to a psychiatrist with my problems ... I broke up with my new friend Sebastian, hoping that we will meet again. Walking around Krakow, he probably met 2 of his friends. I bought cookies in a nearby shop, I think they were called Klementnki - cookies made of various grains and sugar. It is a pity that there was this fucking sugar ... I also saw my dad and my mum near Copernicus, but they probably didn't recognize me ... In the gallery, I ate these cookies at McDonald's upstairs, watched a few people. Then, on foot, I went to the ZEN center, although I got lost a bit and had to look for a way. Being in the center I didn't know how to say hello to new people, especially girls. God!!! With one I greeted somehow stupid, somehow I was ashamed and when I am ashamed I make a strange grimace on my face as masking this feeling. But shame :) I meditated a bit and after the second series I left with Antoni. Today I was sitting on a red mat - I had a slight problem with numbness in my legs, my spine was much better. I talked to Antoni what meditation is for him and what he wants to achieve by it: he wants to be good to people, get to know himself, be a kindly good person. I don't think he knows the real powers of meditation! I told him about my experiences with meditation. We spread out on the market square, I went to the galleries. While still meditating, Ola Kosmider called me 2x, and in fact Hunka already. I was wondering what she could want from me - because she called twice in a row, I suppose it was something urgent. Black thoughts already in my head - what should I say, I must hide it from my family that I am going to meditation. Then phone calls from my dad, luckily they weren't in the gallery yet and we managed to get there on time. PS Oh, being, or rather leaving from the Bonifraters, we had to go back to the pharmacy to buy drugs, or rather herbs :) In the gallery I had a slight problem finding Dad's car, but I found it at stand A. We drove home, and on the way we stopped at a petrol station. I was sitting in the back of the car exceptionally, it gave me such a stable meditative position in which I fell asleep. I guess I'll be in the back seat in the future. At home my feet hurt and they called for help. The cold water gave them energy. I ate cipsy, chocolate - what the hell ...