Get to yourself

January 17 - Feel to yourself I did not write down today's dreams. I did not feel like it. I do not remember a stay 4:00 or 5:00 either. I sat a bit at the pc, doing pseudo meditation. I felt enormous pity for myself and nothing was working out for me, and a bloody hatred for my father. I went for a run around 7:00 am. I also unloaded nervous tension on the back of the track. I didn't run for a long time, I didn't want to. Oh, before I went for a run I was looking for information on channeling again. I have found a new fairy who also has this skill. I made an appointment with her tomorrow at 12:00 I was at the bank twice today. Pay yourself 400 zlotys once, and then 150 zlotys for this fairy for tomorrow's channeling conversation. I was going to transfer from my account to her account afterwards, but I was in such a hurry and impulsively went to make a second separate transfer to her account. By depriving me of almost all the pension I received today. The nonsense of living today. I still think about my father and want revenge on him. Fucking fuck. Mirriel completed a certain soul-healing questionnaire. And so I lived almost all day hating my father. Several times I read 3 different channelings about me. As if I would like to feel this pity for myself or for the angels in heaven. WHORE!!! I don't know how to pick out of this whole situation. I was asking myself what I FUCK TO DO! And I told myself one thing: I don't want any fucking love, I want power, revenge and hate. I wish to take revenge on my father! And for that it needs a lot of power! For that I need meditation, martial arts - only if I'm fucking meditating. Angels there in heaven, call the FUCKER if you said that I am so important to the future! I felt so special when I talked to you, and now where have you gone?