Nutella

July 5 - Nutella - Running under stress + late getting up - write down in a notebook - Lukasz Lopata's suggestion 2 meals a day - Steaming with nettles - Niu Mobile PLN 29 for all - After 1pm departure to Nowy Targ - 14:00 Pierzga - this conversation turned out in a strange way. Judging by the photo, in the period when the cpn attacked the spine, she said that it could be ankylosing spondylitis (gassed photo) - Then I went to my grandfather. Huge mix of feelings, adrenaline, hatred of doctors, and I didn't know what to say. I handed him my pen with which I love to write. - Then I had to react. I was running around Nowy Targ - Shop, picking up a parcel from a Top secret parcel locker, buying nice clothes, buying a nice shirt at dad's, sending a parcel, I was full of adrenaline and I felt so mentally excited about it. This is probably the effect of today's diet plus running, but at the same time - I was still thinking that the pain would come back soon. - Jadzia made me sick: once I come fat, once thin ... Now I'm terribly thin - These clothes from TopSecret in size M were super tight on me! I fucking liked them. - At home, I ate nutella with chocolate. The whole jar. And then guilt and meditation and self-hatred. I don't know what she's feeling, actually. I meditated with the affirmation: life itself loves me, nourishes and supports me + my feelings are normal and worthy of acceptance - And stress at the same time. Because I didn't do Mateusz's computer, because I didn't do anything for the company ... What a mess in life - I am so damn reluctant to write my Chronicles, and I wrote down the key events in points. And so much has happened today and I could easily write much more here ... - I'm stuffing myself like a pig. Supposedly, from Monday I should resume training, but I feel that I will wait another week. So, 1-2 weeks have proven to myself enough to develop a new habit. Only I have developed another habit in this way - laziness from training and sunbathing, and I smoke for running and adrenaline ...