I conquered the fear

January 14 - I Defeated Fear Dream: I was dreaming about Japanese knotweed. I had a drink on Liszka and Jurek Wolf. Jurek shouted: you are sitting, you will dig the mucus ... Should I return to the Rdest? That day I woke up at 3:00 a.m. well rested. Maybe it is the effect of using the recordings of the synchronization of the cerebral fields. I got up, wrote down the dream and did the wake up, a little longer than 15 minutes, over 20. I was playing tetris nicely then. I went back to sleep playing the recording of the synchronization of the cerebral fields. Unfortunately, I did not fall asleep for a minute. I think I slept so well the night that I felt no need for more sleep. Unfortunately, I also felt the cold - but it is probably worth closing the window and revealing the towel to make it warmer in the room. But I'm glad that at least I started :) 8:00 training, I exercised exceptionally without water and a thermos. David took him to Germany yesterday. I felt a little stress related to today's visit to Kalemba, which was partially unloaded during the exercises. I came home, I made a mistake, ate - it was probably 10:30 then and it was 11:00 a.m. which made my stress a bit worse. When I left the house - loads of cortisol in my blood - stress. I'm going to kalemba, stress like hell. Cortisol or adrenaline, anyway paralyzing stress. And then this: I started RUNNING! While running, I was breathing deeply - which relieved the stress perfectly. When I got to the clinic, I was a few minutes before 11:00 Kalemba called me, I was only a little afraid. I entered as some scared Pussy, but I did not let it know after myself. I had my cynical smirks on me, but I couldn't summon the courage to talk to Dr. Kalemba. Today I was thinking about taking a tram, but somehow I managed without it. Kalemba was a bit stuck that he didn't have to write me out. I have to convince him that it hurts me. He ordered an EKG and some blood tests. He also ordered photos to be delivered. As if I should be up. He was at fault, and I was afraid ... In any case, when I left I felt great satisfaction and it worked :) I summoned up my courage. I went to the hospital to get an EKG, I was in the blood collection center, an old lady patient hacked me downstairs in the hospital. There I talked to some doctor, he directed me to the door with the trauma. I knocked - I broke my fear again and was proud of myself. Nobody opened it, so I went to Ziemianski. At Ziemianski, I was told that the cost is PLN 20 and I do not respect the clinic. Back to the clinic. I missed dr. Gabis, but I was afraid to meet him, so I avoided him. I asked the Lady again in the window where the EKG is. This time I was explaining to myself: after all, for her it is a daily job to listen to the moans and complaints of patients. They are already bored with it and used to it. I also just observed how the patients communicate with the staff. They tell long, complicated stories - and here they would like to hear something briefly and to the point. I missed a certain blonde lady, although I should be alone, but I had no regret or grudge against her. Well, maybe 1% was stuck there somewhere, but at least I heard her communicating with the staff. It was my turn, the Lady referred me to office number 3, where blood is also collected. There was one guy in front of me and it was finally my turn. The examination was quick: in the position of the electrode to the legs, and the cancer, and something to the heart. Then she measured my pressure. It came out 150. So I wonder why Kalemba ordered me a rather expensive EKG test. Maybe he has suspicions that the spine may radiate to my heart, or he wants to check my performance. Or maybe it is required for a spa treatment? Who knows... I left, I was already walking towards the house, when it reminded me that I still need to register for tomorrow. I did so too. I was a bit stupid again, I was scared, because in the EKG I told you that I was registered tomorrow. But again I said to myself: conquer your fear. I did great and I was proud of myself again :) I went, I had a great desire to run again. Oh, I will add that being in the clinic I was very relaxed. I think it was thanks to this run before - I unloaded my nervous tensions. I was running in the park, I reached the pharmacy under the carefour, but there was a terrible queue. Before I ran there, however, I was running along the river. The weather was beautiful. There were two dogs, one on a leash and one behind the fence. And again with pride I overcame my fear and ran with them :) Then I ran to my father's trusted pharmacy and bought a urine container there. I was also in this petty store wanting to buy a calendar and a glass of scented lamps. I met Rafal Pawlik's wife with children. There was no calendar, so I went to Manhattan to the traffic kiosk and there I bought a calendar with flowers for 9 PLN. Earlier, I also asked about the calendar in Photographic, they said that they can print from the photos. He cost as much as PLN 47, but I did not have the courage to say that it was a bit too much for me. I was stupid and I like it - although I did like these calendars, I did not take the courage to buy it anymore. I was also at the cemetery. I bought candles. They had a red plastic shell that could also be used for scented lamps. Uncle Kazek and Sebastian were at the house to visit. Sebastian said that he was finally gaining weight, uncle Kazek talked about his hard life when he was making some extra money. As a young kid, he rode his bike to the seaside. Hahaha: D We made an appointment to go cross-country skiing on Sunday. I do not know if I was assertive, on the one hand I wanted to do something new, on the other hand I am a bit worried about my joints and feet. I ate dinner with soup. Feeling guilty and ate so much ... My stomach felt it. Then I was on the 15th day to make an appointment with Łukasz. I needed an XP disc. It's terrible to go there, I didn't want to, but I made a commitment. I wanted to go fast, he shared his views on food and exercise. He motivated me to talk about some guy who used InTuFlow to rehabilitate the spine and straighten it. Maybe now I start spending some time watching this video on youtube. I went home, exercised my legs and stomach. I wanted to read, but I practiced. The time flew by when I finished, because it was between 17-18. I remembered that I still have to send a lottery coupon, I went to Wick, but this time calmly and did not listen to the music. I moved slowly - I was after training. I went to Manhattan, there I hesitated to enter the casino - I overcame my fear again and went in. It wasn't that bad, the guy referred me to carefour. There, I still kept the lottery ticket and returned home. It was terribly cold in the field. I tested meditations, or rather a self-hypnotic recording of Adam Boduf. It made me sleepy. I also watched the fight vegeta vs goku first time kamehameha. This music made me drive, it gave me adrenaline. I'm too tired after today, so I'm going to wash up and sleep right away. I will test the recordings in bed, learning to meditate again. What I learned today: I overcame my fear!