There is energy

July 19 - There isEnergy - Wake up spontaneously slightly before 4:00, say 3:57. Supposedly well rested, as if I was supposed to get up to meditate, but it was similiar ... It was freezing cold. I guess I just pissed myself off and went to sleep. And I slept and I thought that at this hour I could get up to my meditation and then go to bed and go to bed. I woke up after 6:00 am, started my routine daily activities. I prepared almost 1/3 of the old bread, 5 huge slices of onion. And the resulting white cheese cube with tomato. Meditation on a vibrating chair, I felt like a lot of oxygen with stretching my chest. Yes, I felt a lot of soreness after yesterday's training. She was just cunning. - Jakos 7:30 training until 9:00. Actually just stretching the muscles, stretching + intuflow. Stretching was really nice in the sun. After 9:00 getting ready for work - very resistant to stress on the mother and lack of time. Is it the effect of affirmation, exercises, or maybe all at once? Hard to say. But I didn't have time for brainChallenge and tetris and other stuff anymore. I focused on eating my meal and getting ready for work. - Ok, and what's next ... Stress and constant fear of pain and ailments. Today about the tailbone, the vertebrae in the spine were teasing. I'm afraid, I was still afraid ... - Somehow. About 12:00 (it's hard for me to say exactly) Grzegorz came. He offered me a job as Tomek ... 1500 basis and said that I could come out for a total of 5-7 thousand zlotys. Wow ... Something incredible. This sum seemed too abstract to me. I dreamed of earning PLN 1500 and just getting out of the house. When I received an offer from him, I felt fear only for 2-3 reasons: 1. Vanessa's prophecy about government problems 2. Fear for health, mainly the spine and tailbone associated with driving a car 3. Fear of receiving the pension 4. And maybe the fourth thing, fear of driving a car. - I felt that Grzegorz was also afraid. I am pleased to say that I am responsible, reasonable, etc ... But I am not. I'm inside like a paltry gift that is only nicely wrapped. In a nice shirt, good haircut, good-looking, he expresses himself well and wisely. I liked Grzeska. I really liked it, he impressed me with this conversation in the car when he wanted to help me, when he got into my heart and mind, admitting that he is a fagot, alcoholic, drug addict, drug addict etc ... telling me about himself. It made an amazing impression on me ... And I wanted to revenge him, but I was afraid to have faith, so I only said 4-7% about myself and my problems, although maybe what I said are the roots of other problems ... I think so ... Moreover, psychoanalyzing this situation: I confirmed that I was soft, I agreed, which probably also evoked reactions on the subconscious level, such as: YES means> NO. ENCOURAGE and you will be SOLVED. DISPOSE and you will be ATTRACTED. - Maybe it was even a good thing, because mentally I was not prepared for such work, mainly due to the health and mental aspect and I do not want to earn so much money so quickly, but I mean health more! It's also good that I agreed, because later Grzegorz called to forgive Tomek, they reconciled and Tomek returns to work :) I will continue to be a poor IT specialist / programmer for 600 PLN :) - Plus, I like to spend my time here in the office. I really like. I'm alone, away from my mother, although I'm just scared of sitting and the spine, but it's really horny. I read books, I am alone, I like this place :) - While on a trip I bought accident cutlery 2x - great. I spent PLN 8, excellent for my container. In the case of ailments, as usual, I advise myself: water, WFM - today I had practically no desire to stretch. - However, I bought 2 wallets that I liked yesterday. Brilliant, great! - For dinner I scraped rice in my own garlic sauce. I bought mild mustard for 1.95 and a head of garlic for 1.50. Total 3.50, it also came out much cheaper than the garlic sauce in the store. Excellent taste with rice, and in addition those 1.5 oz of garlic (one large and one small) calmed me down. Garlic seems to have calming and sleeping properties. This was what I needed, I felt the peace and harmony of my body and I read the book by Andrzej Bednarz with ease - I have not finished it yet, but at least I can see that writing this diary is doing better for me. Excellent meal! - I have also prepared a new affirmation that I must implement: "Since the methods of light meals did not work so far, let's try something else 4 + 2 Powerful meals a day build a fast, agile, powerful muscular body. When running and evening training I think it will be enough." Vanessa wrote back to me about her healing proposal. A very nice start, it will start for free. Only the end irritated me, I wrote that I should give up esotericism. I have to somehow slightly change her way of thinking, she described her mother's case - I think I am referring to it, and how does she know what is the truth about her mother? I have to do this! - I thought there would be a lot to write and almost nothing here? Today Kregi started to annoy me a bit again, probably from uncomfortable sitting ... It's hard to say Now I am sunbathing sitting on the couch in the storm. It is 5:45 pm. With a laptop and Wifi I feel more connected to the world. Do you eat another meal now? I'm not that hungry, but maybe water first and then eat it Summarizing the plans for today: - Chronicle written - There is light order in the storms - A. Bednarz's book is finished. And I think is there anything else worth adding to my Jedi Warrior Chronicle? - Now he writes from home. it is 10:06 pm. - The rest of the day went on as follows. I left work full of fear for my health. No shirt, of course. My hunch told me to go through Podhalańska. I don't know why I had that feeling, but I did. On the way, I had an idea to meet Maks, or at least his parents, or Ole ... But I did meet Lukasz Jarosz - I think so I was close, because he is their neighbor, probably even the closest, right? - Then the black woman's house - fear. But I am breaking my courage, so I walked through his house saying my affirmation. In the event of an attack, I had an interesting image with Riposta: "At the beginning, buy dumbbells, yes with 50 kg, wave them 20 times every day and in about 10-20 years you will be as beautiful, handsome and muscular as I am" she liked - I also had some ideas about the conversation with Grzegorz about today's work. Long conversation, I won't write anything and I think I need to talk to him about it. I'd like to ... - I got my feet wet by the river and went barefoot to the playground without a T-shirt. No feeling of creep or fear. As if I got immune to it. Jupi, it's getting better, I'm proud of myself! - At the playground, I wanted to drink, then eat. I also saw Karoline Gacek with my friends - I used to like to show off in front of them, today as if the old coded thoughts were directed again to draw attention to them. - I thought to send some kid to the store, but I didn't find any. I would not be afraid. I would have done it without fear or creep. Finally, after warming up, I left my bag to a nice old lady and without shoes and a T-shirt, I went to the mushroom to buy a little water for 2.50. Not even the worst price, and it came with a stopper. I was not frightened and afraid - wow something beautiful. How it's possible. - After training, I was so exhausted that I didn't have the strength to stretch at the end of the training. Lack of strength. At home, I ate a cold dinner. As always, my mother crackled and fired, imposing her mouth and mouth. The meal gave me energy. Potatoes with Cauliflower, then I took another zodka. In addition, I was hungry and exhausted. Wow - There is energy! I was tired and now I feel charged again! - There is Energy!