Valerian Test

January 21 - Valerian's Test I got up very early. About 3:00 in the morning. However, I did not practice lucid dreaming, although I was full of energy and will to live. I started my mind and physical training which I called after yesterday's movie: "Undisputed Training". I have done my mind training brilliantly. Mind training included: Ball jiggling, tetris, brain challenge, diary, Adam Bytof's Exercises, describing and inventing applications. I was proud of myself and got up so early and went back to training my mind. The morning training went very well. I held on to the number 13 repetitions again. A day at home. I paid the bills to Szym PLN 300 for the apartment. I also downloaded a new movie for him. Exactly - I lent chick a PenDrive For tomorrow I have an appointment with Marta at 18:00 and with Urologist and Rafal Pawlik at 8:30. I am so full of energy right now and my mother has a terrible desire to run. But I have to hold on until the morning. OK 16, I trained my legs and stomach. Today I looked for something about lucid dreaming aids. I found about valerian drops. Wanting to test 150 drops overnight. Amazing how a bottle for 2 PLN can do wonders. I spoke with Kaja a moment ago. She asked me for help to get her photo page up and running. I read a book today about running - but it was terrible. In addition, I only read one book. I had an appointment with Łukasz for 4:00 pm, but he didn't come. I was also 10 minutes late myself, but I didn't wait long for him. I did not feel like it. I have a problem with my phone. I am not getting any messages even though I have freed up some space in my memory. I don't know what to do with it. Anyway, it's all not important. Today we test valerian! :) PS Today I installed a new application for running on android. It uses the GPS module.

Undisputed

January 20 Undisputed The morning is very early. Between 1 and 2 I woke up well rested. However, I had nothing to do so I slept in bed. I didn't want to practice lucid dreaming. Huj with meditation, as I wrote in the previous post, huj with everything I woke up in the morning, or rather in the morning I woke up. With reluctance, I went for a run - I didn't want to. I think I met my stepfather, Łukasz Lopata. They were looking for the Hague dog. Unfortunately I couldn't help. Through the day, laziness again. In the afternoon I downloaded the movie Undisputed 2 and 3. I recorded for him. When I started watching I moved to another world. Again I wanted to fight, learn martial arts, meditate, exercise, develop. Bojka seemed to be speechless in this film. I know what I feel - I feel exactly the same now. Bored of it all. I can not come up with any sharp retort, although it was different at Marta's party. In the evening I went for a run again. I read today also a little courage and the joy of a dangerous life. I would like to finish reading because tomorrow I would like to lend this book to Łukasz.

HujZMeditation

January 19 - Huj z Meditation! Morning around 3-4 in the morning. However, I have not recorded sleep, nor have I practiced lucid dreaming or meditation. I just blogged and I lay in bed pleasantly. Yesterday, I went to sleep as if in undiluted nervous tension. Anger, hatred, I want revenge and I feel sorry for myself and the angels and nothing comes out of me at all. During the day I slept, in the morning I ran for something, but as much as nothing. In the evening I did yesterday's overdue leg training. I haven't been doing anything today, I haven't even read 2 books a day. I don't give a shit about everything. I made an appointment with Wioletta, or rather transferred her PLN 120 for channeling. I made an appointment with Marta and Arek for something good on Tuesday. Szymek downloaded two movies: Death Run and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. By the way, I will have to bring them to him in a moment.

PLN 150Poszlo

January 18 - PLN 150 I woke up quite early in the morning 3-4 am. Again full of hatred, regret and anger towards himself and towards his father. What I did? Something on the computer. I tried a bit of a lucid dream recording with a focus on failure. Somehow at 8:00 my mother came. She pressed my medications, brought them to my room. And that's a whore !!! my heart beat harder and I had to swallow it. I quickly took 2 tbl of NAC to neutralize the effect. I went to unload my anger, fear and hatred by practicing. On the one hand, I didn't feel like it, but hatred gave me strength! Somehow, when I got home, I went to lie down for a while. When I got up I was quite sleepy and dull. Was it the fault of a short nap or psychotropic drugs? And so I lived almost all day. At 12 o'clock I was scheduled to channel with Elen, although to tell the truth I was disappointed. I spent PLN 150 for a chat and I got methods that I know won't work on me. Again some fucking meditations, visualizations etc ... FUCK. I lost PLN 150. I wanted to choose unknown, I could choose Wiolette. Now I have a dilemma whether to make an appointment with Wioletta, because it will be an expense of PLN 150 again. Well, but I will at least write what I found out. According to her numerology, I have to work on 3 things in life: 1) Low self-esteem - I have to regain my own worth 2) Drug against changes and losses 3) Working with finances Moreover, during meditation, say the words: I am consciousness of the Buddha, Christ, the Universe, the All-Existence. And what a FUCK IS SUCH A FUCK for? I also got my own channeling technique which I won't use anyway: - take a pen and paper - Say: I am asking you, Angel, for a message for me - 3 breaths, write on the 3rd exhalation. And I guess that's fucking it. I slept the day. What I learned today: I got to know something new and it's better to go back to my previous fairy.

Get to yourself

January 17 - Feel to yourself I did not write down today's dreams. I did not feel like it. I do not remember a stay 4:00 or 5:00 either. I sat a bit at the pc, doing pseudo meditation. I felt enormous pity for myself and nothing was working out for me, and a bloody hatred for my father. I went for a run around 7:00 am. I also unloaded nervous tension on the back of the track. I didn't run for a long time, I didn't want to. Oh, before I went for a run I was looking for information on channeling again. I have found a new fairy who also has this skill. I made an appointment with her tomorrow at 12:00 I was at the bank twice today. Pay yourself 400 zlotys once, and then 150 zlotys for this fairy for tomorrow's channeling conversation. I was going to transfer from my account to her account afterwards, but I was in such a hurry and impulsively went to make a second separate transfer to her account. By depriving me of almost all the pension I received today. The nonsense of living today. I still think about my father and want revenge on him. Fucking fuck. Mirriel completed a certain soul-healing questionnaire. And so I lived almost all day hating my father. Several times I read 3 different channelings about me. As if I would like to feel this pity for myself or for the angels in heaven. WHORE!!! I don't know how to pick out of this whole situation. I was asking myself what I FUCK TO DO! And I told myself one thing: I don't want any fucking love, I want power, revenge and hate. I wish to take revenge on my father! And for that it needs a lot of power! For that I need meditation, martial arts - only if I'm fucking meditating. Angels there in heaven, call the FUCKER if you said that I am so important to the future! I felt so special when I talked to you, and now where have you gone?

Klotniaz Mom

Dreams: 2 days ago I had a dream with my hips. I woke up with two legs. I realize it was a kind of warning Today: I talked to my mom about a hoodie I got lost. January 16 - Klotnia with mama I woke up between 4:00 and 5:00 am Full of hatred for my father. I couldn't control the hate that was inside me, I felt anger spread through my blood. I had to unload it, that's why I went to exercise early because at 6:00 am. By the way, I did something new. When my mother was leaving, she scared me a bit when I was in the hall and I turned on the light. during training I missed the push-ups on the bars. After training, I got tired of it. The training was fun because I finished practicing at 8:00 in the morning. Maybe I'll start training early. However, the downside to such training is that you cannot practice lucid sleep. Being at home, my mother pissed at me for water in the bottom cupboard. She was looking for a bomb envelope. It's good that she did not notice antibiotics or, worse - drugs in coffee :) I boiled, but I was able to withstand this stress. Then I unloaded it when mom went hitting the pillow and calmed down. I also tried sleeping on my stomach. This position is great for discharging minor nervous tensions. Being on my stomach, I listened to 2x Adam Bytof's LD induction, which made me sleepy a bit and regained my strength. Mom went to the funeral of Ms. Beatka's husband today. At that time, I read the book Take care of your spine. I did not prescribe exercises, the book was general about back pain. I ate dinner, my mother, when she returned, asked what so little. In the evening I ate a cup of coffee. I did it mainly for a show to my mother. Mom encouraged me to eat chocolate. Then I had a grudge and I felt sorry for myself, in addition I ate it with a meal, and I strive to eat light and live without food. Dawid and dad came back from Germany today. David bought himself a car. I guess that's it. Today I dealt with my father hatred and the stress after arguing with my mother. I am really resistant to stress compared to what used to be. I can turn this negative energy into something positive. I spoke to Mirrel today. She did not agree to the screenings so that Donata Bargiel would arrange my apartment for free. I was about to quit her services. I kind of wanted to hurt myself. She wrote me back quickly today. However, we agreed that he would bring me purification of my soul so that I could live on my own and in what way I would get an apartment, it will be my only business. What I learned today: deal with stress.

I feel the tip

January 15 - I feel like a tip I woke up today at 3:00 am fully rested. I slept exceptionally by one window to keep it warm. I woke up and went back to bed. I played the recording of Adam Bytof and the recording of the gaze.net cos ala hemisync. I fell asleep, although I did not have a lucid dream. I fell asleep again, fell asleep. I woke up around 6-7. But I got up after 7. At eight o'clock, I accidentally swallowed one ablify tablet. Whore!!! I took NAC quickly to neutralize the effects of the drugs. I went for a run and then I wanted to go to the institute to do blood tests, but I forgot my urine. I went home to get the container and pee. I also added creatine - quite a lot for such an amount. I took it to the institute, took my blood and rushed to Rafal the Pawlik. Earlier I called him and I will be a little late, which is practically 30 minutes. I praised Rafał about yesterday's success and went to Kalemba. He congratulated me. We talked about fear, about the fact that he feels insecure everywhere - he says and he also feels insecure when he goes into a new area, especially where there were some thugs. Running back home, I ate 3 slices for breakfast. After reading the book, I swore to myself whether it is possible to live without eating, and I will also acquire such an ability. At home, I started reading the book I take care of the spine. Unfortunately, I did not fulfill my resolution. Somewhere, it is subconsciously stuck in me and it is a book and I will not be able to read it ... I have read a half of this book. I learned how important the feet are in the spine posture. At 4pm I went to Dr. Kalemba's. I brought him the test results. He prescribed me a referral for rehabilitation. He also asked discreetly if I was under psychiatric care. I answered politely like some pussy: yes, here at the donut bargiel. He asked if I was taking any medications, I replied with ablifa and tegretol. And I felt like going out like a fist, I was sad. I still had to stamp the registration. I was sad coming home. I had to relieve my stress somehow. But I held up quite a lot of sadness. It was beautiful how I adapted to this situation. I went to the park to laze on the lane closer to the river and do the WFM ala Yoga exercise to relieve the tension in my chest. Relief, but the sadness remains. Then I went to breathe too. It was nice to breathe. And so until 18 I was angry with my father, with myself. Life's nonsense again. At home, I ate 2 bananas for dinner, drank carrots and ate potatoes. I had an appointment with Adrian on the 19th for hypnosis. However, I transferred it to 20. I felt a tension with regret, I had to go to bed and lie on my stomach. This position is a good way to relieve the tension in the body. At 8 p.m. we started hypnosis. Oh, for lunch, I swallowed tegretol especially because I was afraid that my mother would catch me in the eye. But my mother used to tan her teeth for dinner, this time I managed to smuggle some drugs. The trance with adrian lasted 10 minutes. 30 minutes of photographic reading coaching that I conducted for him. We used a cool affirmation as the target: "He knows Bruce Lee's fighting methods." We have used a similar affirmation to program today's lucid dream. Lotto draw today. I am still waiting for the results to add this event to my diary. Heh, not a single number has fallen :(