Venol

June 29 - Venol - Wake up at 3:00. Entering into meditation. then go to sleep until morning - In the morning I ran a little, but not much. - However, I noticed that such a combination made me gladly go for a run - Venol - I took today. I guess it helped with these strange head sensations. You will have to check what these herbs are doing. - Conversation with Matthew - I got fat - I have the impression that in the mirror I have a little more fat, the weight also indicates so. But 3 kg per week? - I noticed that when flat I sleep better when my head is raised a little higher on the rolled up pillow. - I was learning photoshop for a day. Mom went to the moraine. I was mostly at home. - This morning I had a strange, restless dream and David ate my cutlet. - And as always, a lot of plans for the week and almost everything at the last minute. Maybe next week I will not write anything on my card? - Yesterday I converted M. Rakowska's book to doc and txt. AdobeFineReader11 is wonderful! - Going to the toilet I was saying the affirmations again: "this fucking whore is sleeping like a stone". Could it help? It was already the second night when she did not wake up ..

I like my ritual more and more

June 28 - I like my ritual more and more - A day written with 1 day delay. It has not happened to me for a long time. - Morning quite early. I sat down to meditate and meditated for a long time. At one point I went back to sleep - Mom sleeps in the living room. Going to the bathroom in order not to wake her up, I repeated the affirmations: "This fucking whore is sleeping like a stone". Probably a success, although I am not sure it was because of it, but she burned like a stone and she did not wake up. - Got it. After less than a week, weight is 68-69 kg. THIS is quite an interesting phenomenon. Biceps indicates a bit more than 35. I think 35.2 cm Only the fat returned to 9.3%. I'll have to write down notes. After all, I have a break from Monday and it's only a 5-day break. - Throughout the day I was learning a bit of Photoshop, I was doing with gerlanda domains and everything is still not done. Everything in 3 different places. - The day was generally spent at home. - I had a big appetite for dinner. I ate as many as 5 slices with butter and garlic. 2 of them with processed cheese. I felt that it was what I needed. I felt good after this meal. - For dinner, this time I made myself eggs efficiently and without stress - In the evening I was so tired that I had already fallen asleep in front of the monitor screen by 20. I went to bed and somehow on 22nd I went to sleep. I meditated several times a day. I was probably more and more calm about my ailments. The pain was as if to the side. - I added a sign of saying goodbye to my ritual. - Today I woke up quite early 3:00. About 5 hours of good restorative sleep. - Before going to sleep, I made a scan of M. Rakowska's book - Everyday Life Without pain. At first glance, adobeFineReader did a great job. - My head hurts a bit. I will try to do the affirmation meditation: I let go of pain, pain disappears ...

Office work

June 27 - Work in the office - Morning 4:00, morning start - As usual, despite the desire, I did not do much, but at least I did the costam visually - 7:00, however, I ate steamers, around 5:00 fruit, or rather carrot juice. I overcame my weakness and stuck to the meals I had set :) - About 10 am Marcin came to pick me up as I asked him. I packed my bag, table and laptop. I just forgot the internet antenna. - That day at the office was a really fun springboard. Oh, in the morning I took the tramal just in case. I was wondering what pain pill to take for this occasion. However, I decided to take the tram so that the pain would not keep me all day long. So it happened. Nothing hurt :) It was brilliant! In such cases, I will use the tram. Tomorrow I also want to go to the office to work. - About 1:00 p.m. we ate 1 whole calabria pizza. I just liked the smell of cigarettes. I think Grzesiek smokes one pipe for 10 minutes. Fuck me, but I was sick ... - It was a laugh, I felt great in this office. And so until 5 p.m. At that hour there was something like this in me: what's up, that's it, that's it? What's so short? - Next time I have to bring my own food and: drink! to cleanse myself of these toxins from cigarettes because then I feel like vomiting after them, I wanted to - Marcin picked me up after 5 pm too, or rather at the post office. This is where I wanted to vomit. At the same time, I wanted to do something with my android - install apt-get to then run wifite. However, it ended on rehearsals, but at least I did the costam. - At home, I ate a lot of grapes and apples. I missed dinner, I wasn't hungry. I wanted to run but I didn't. The tram condition made me prefer to do something completely different. Now I would like to start a photoshop course, but I still have to meditate. - I remember today from work a comic situation when my partner, Grzeska, said everything in all possible languages: D

JustSit

June 26 - Just sitting - 3:00 wake up. It's probably because of the fresher air at night. Entering into meditation - After 4:30 am you go to sleep and wake up at 6:00 am - Departure for training before 8:00. Calling Zakopane - I didn't really feel like running that day. - I tested the fruit in the morning, then the protein. I felt great! Great! Full of energy! - Meeting with Michał Sornat around 9:00 am near thesis. I was a bit embarrassed and he had pants like pinocchio :) Fortunately, we learned meditation in a secluded place. I was just sitting, or rather we were sitting. I was enjoying this moment. She was beautiful in her own way. Although it was more daydreaming and imagining than the silence of the mind. Kind of like my state of mind from 2 years ago - I was just sitting there. I would feel it like that - I continued reading for the day at home, I finished reading Kurt Tepperwein's book The Creative Power of Thinking. Holy book. Later I read it again in photos and again in my TurboReader - Tomorrow at 10 to GerlandToys. And I did not prepare myself in the field of photoshop. Still kids to finish the program. But on top, and I go about my own business. And I feel good with it, I do what I want :) - What else happened during the day? I was going to run to the post office to check if my mother had received the varnishes, I wanted to run, but I didn't want to, and in addition I started lacing. I met the ark with some crew. I will not write more because I do not want to. - In the evening I also read Andrzej Bednarz's book in photos. But I won't read it normally anymore. I sit down to meditate.

Thoughts of suicide

June 25 - MysliSamobojcze - 4:00 wake up automatically, preparing for life - 4:30 or a bit later WFM - 6:00 or so I went for a run. But because of the fact that I ate watermelon first and then as many as 4 slices of garlic while running, I felt a mega drop in energy compared to yesterday. This resulted and I developed a new meal schedule: 5711141721. I made a mistake in the morning. I stuck to my rigid rules / procedures. I should eat the sausages I ate later in town in the new green container. In addition, in those high-rise sweatpants and Uncle Jack's long sweatshirt, I felt a bit like a skinny freak. - In the afternoon around 2 p.m. sadness, slight sadness. Thoughts of suicide. I thought to myself: either it would be nice to die, or to have finally diagnosed with cancer in the brain and die, so that my father would lose his reputation !!! HUJ FUCKED! - He's thinking about dinner again, because I ate an egg with potatoes. It's still nothing, but I feel terribly fed up about what my stomach signals. But what's good about this situation: - Today I felt much more confident in making "outing meals" as I call them. To do your best, you first need to make a mistake to know how to do the right thing. So let's put it this way. - but I want the tramal today. A beautiful sadness to enjoy yet the tram. - Radiation in the fight against chlamydia? I uploaded files to the hamster all day long. I named the hamster Hemi-Sync. I felt so stiff, so tight, it felt like a radiation effect! - I have enough, the pain is wandering, I have not even finished this book. I have everything in my fucking ass, I want to go to sleep now, only dinner! Fuckin 'meditation - I wrote to Michal Sornat today. He has agreed to meet, he has free time - In addition, I wrote to Elen, a little persuasively, to agree: what would happen if I committed suicide? Probably I will not agree to such an answer, but it will not hurt to try. At least I tried to convince her to get an answer. - Before dinner, I ate 3 apples. A total of 2 would be enough for me, and after 3 I feel a little stuffed. And fear and guilt again. I will eat: I will get fat and I will be sick. I will not eat: lose weight and burn muscle mass. Eh ... I have to bear in mind that eating a meal with half full stomach absorbs the food well, as if I were thinking half full with my mouth. Try to wash your mouth fully - you can't. You have to pour out a little water because it is blocking you. Yes, yes, and now I feel after eating as many as 3 apples, and you still have to eat dinner. Container unwashed. And I would like to go to sleep. Well, I will eat only cheese, I will eat sandwiches tomorrow, and this will motivate me to spend more time at the computer. - PS I didn't go to sleep. It's dinner time. About 9pm I took 3 slices of petticoat and cottage cheese. I had the intention to eat the slices in the morning and now cheese. And as if looking at this food, I felt that I was producing the right gastric acids in my stomach, as if the body had prepared itself for this food, and at the same time I still have undigested apples in my stomach. Stomach acids got mixed up and I started to feel bigos in my stomach, you could even call it some kind of pain: D - I felt that sugar and cocoa would be a good medicine. Yes, there was cocoa. Yes, I drank guiltily, because in addition it's milk, mixed with sugar ... God, real hypochondria. After all, 2 of my affirmations would be enough in those situations that I did not say: - I eat when and only when I'm hungry - this fucking whore does not impress me at all, on any level of body and mind. - poison in a small dose is a cure. - By the way, today and probably yesterday after the run, expressing this affirmation, I feel very resistant to the age-old stress associated with the mother. - Heh, now, as I even told myself about it all, I felt better mentally. I'm going to wash, we'll see if I can smuggle food in the morning. Mom left earlier and saw him washing the container. She left earlier because there was only cold water. - And so reading Kurt Tepperwein's Book, it came to me to use his methods in conjunction with mine to create two things simultaneously as part of the experiment: - The first thing is a beautiful death of your own - Second - to be a superhero who will save the world from destruction with his power. Now I am thinking, how about combining these two things and writing them down in my notebook? hmmm ... Why don't you? And we'll see if it happens. According to kurta, you can't do anything wrong with these methods. So theoretically, if I devour all my thoughts to take revenge on my father - I am not able to do him any harm. In fact, I do not even want to, I want to unload my anger and hatred towards him and ridicule him in public. He can also show his pain to others, show off ... How strong I am. Yes, I think so I was watching Dr. House. I wanted to meet such a guest and be super sick. Has become. It happened in part because dr. I haven't met House yet. An easier thing happened, and after all, I didn't use any technique, I just watched, visualized. And it happened quite quickly.

I Feel Perfect 2

June 24 - I feel great 2 - Wake up at around 4:00 am, standard preparations for the day - 4:30 am I started my meditation. WFM vibration on the floor in the diamond position. I felt it was a great ritual for me - I wrote to this Michal Sornat about meditation. He wrote back and said that we could meet on a bench in the park one day and talk. - Around 5:30 I went for a run. I took breakfast on the road. In total, I made myself an extra pie and had yesterday's slices. Earlier, at home, I ate an apple, which then turned out to be not very tasty, as I felt while running. Every now and then something rotten inside but I didn't care so much about it. Fear of pain and ailments seemed to come back again. My mediocre affirmation worked. It was a preliminary run and I looked around the rabka. I left Torbe under the roof on the playground. I ran to PPU, I pissed there, so I know that it is already open around 6:00. This guardian of the law agreed to let me in. I wanted to get the ligole as the first breakfast, but Marcin was still closed. I ran towards NaSkarpie. The thought came to me to break into Donata's computer, see what is written down in the files. The files are probably kept both in the computer and on paper, and even if not, I can break in for fun. Skarpie network55. I was already thinking how to do it. Download your phone number to the phone and leave it there in your bag for a few hours in the process of reporting the results of your tests. Then I'll pick it up. Another way to do a fakeAP Then I was running towards the teznia, the river, the park, after some time returning to the playground, stretching my muscles and finally breathing. My shoes were incredibly wet - socks too. It's good that I haven't decided to use new shoes yet. Oh and most importantly, I did the fountains test. There are a lot of coins, I put mine in to see if the fountain will be cleared tomorrow. On my way back, I burnt my card with the plan of the day in a metal basket near the river. I was paying attention that no one could see me yet. At home, my mother is still sleeping. I made a mistake, I did a little research. Man, I thought how beautiful the morning had begun, how much free time. I only had in my head: fear of ailments and, moreover, thoughts about food = I did not want to eat breakfast yet. I said that I would go buy my dad a tree of happiness and I knew that then I would eat breakfast when I wanted to. In addition, my mother asked me to buy a card for Aunt Jasia for a name. I did so at the post office. There was so much going on with a shortcut: a gift for a piggy bank, a tree of happiness at a kiosk and a dog nodding his head, a paper florist, also breathing and breakfast for cardiology, losing a container ... Yes, I lost the bitten heel can which I realized when I got home after 12 and looked into the bag. Unfortunately, at the same time I wanted to rest and so I did in bed. After 1 p.m. I told my mother that I had lost the headphones and went to look for them. I also took the keys to the basement, I didn't take my bag. Then I wanted to smuggle this container into the basement. And I was looking for: I asked in cardiology - Ada Grzybacz, the best friend of Iza Draganowska, in whom I loved a maxim, worked there. Sympathetic in character. And I was looking for this container, but I did not find it, I also returned home, unfortunately. I was telling myself - if I can't find such a fuck, how am I supposed to find the more serious things in my life? I called my mom, lied that I had to wait until 2pm. I really didn't want to eat yet and wanted to wait out the time and the moment to start feeling hungry. I returned home after 2:30 pm and then ate dinner - pasta with topping. I was saying that I would add some cheese, but I wanted to avoid combining proteins with carbohydrates. I also ate the same pasta with strawberries. And what's next - well, I lost my keys while searching: D It was also after lunch, even though I did not want to eat, in addition to drink and sleep, and dinner even more than a day worsened my sleepiness, I started to use the keys to prepare yellow cards with contact to me. And I distributed it everywhere, fortunately I found in a prokom where I bought a phone case with a strong clasp. I bet that they will also be in Malgosia, I also left a contact note for me there. In addition, when I was leaving, I put on this blue shirt that I bought in a rag for a few zlotys. I felt very confident in it, very handsome, well suited to my figure. I liked it. I felt outspoken, I felt I could do anything! It was a brilliant feeling! Unfortunately, when I returned home, the house was closed. I used the help of Friday so that I could call because I didn't even have a phone. After messing around, I found my mom in the park and gave me the key. As always, her fucking and whining and fucking for anything. Moreover, I got 4 bottles of 5l mineral water. I wanted 2 and I got 4 because I think they wanted to get rid of them. Someday they will be perfect for exercises with water canisters. I found out from this lady "Lucky God" who I like very much :) I went for these bottles as if for free. On his way back with the bottles he met me and asked why I needed them. Here I made a psychological error, as if I farted my mouth and showed that I want to have them for exercise. Well, it remains to believe that he will not shoot any more such blunder. At home, I went to bed, I was tired, exhausted, exhausted, I wanted to drink. I quenched my thirst and went to bed, unfortunately a moment later he called to open the door for him. Then my mother came over and they interrupted me a bit. Fuck the basket not taken out again. I went back to bed, I went to the sound Healing on my stomach and somehow rested until 7:00 p.m. In addition, for the day I felt a pain in the place where the nodule had grown. Such strange sensations as if you were a redhead. I was worried about it. When my dad arrived, I gave him a gift and gave him false wishes. I did it just to get the fuck off, I hate him! And after 7 p.m. I started looking for a book that she disgraced me. I also had an idea to create a new hamster account with HemiSync and then a sub-account with saved Hemi-Sync-Collection files. Likewise, other Hans-Zimmer Hans-Zimmer-Diskograpy and Within-Temptation-Diskography accounts I did not find a book about Kurt Tepperwein's diseases, but I did find other books of his that I was reading that evening. The title of one of them (the one I am reading now) is Creative Thinking Power. And I started reading on Hemi-Sync BrainPower. And I got into the same state I entered yesterday: I didn't care about the pain, I was focused on the book, I was reading really fast. something beautiful again. It made me happy again. Get yourself a steamer for tomorrow after your run. There are watermelons in the morning will be perfect. With 4 slices of butter, I feel like I want these sausages now, although ... already so late that I would rather give up. Maybe I will eat them in the morning after the watermelons, maybe then the body will make up for the hunger for steamers that it feels now and will use them well? Who knows, we'll see this experiment.

I FEEL PERFECT

June 23 - I Feel Perfect - Morning 4:00 - Training somewhere from 8:00 - Training Pro 2 series. The idea came to my mind that I do not have any gains, I feel poorly at 6 sets. Maybe they were wrong that you need so much practice. As a rule of thumb, I have decided to reduce the number of series to 2-3 series and now I am taking a week off. I felt great today - physically and mentally! Something amazing. At home, I was calm and composed. I do not know if it is due to Affirmation, training, Allen Carr's breakfast diet or maybe everything but I felt very well physically and mentally - Near cardiology, I found a bench where I could eat a meal alone. I ate broad beans, left the cheese for later. I felt great! - In addition, I decided to do the squats on one leg with my back to the ladders - I was home after 12:00. My mother probably left the house open on purpose. I got hold of myself and didn't eat anything until 2 p.m. and I did the right thing. For dinner I ate raw potatoes, I ate the cutlet Later. I felt great again. I felt crunchy, my eyes were soft and luscious. I felt great. I felt my body! I ate the cutlet around 5:00 p.m. then I felt like it. Then he sends me a desire for cheese. I felt great. Calm, composed, the pain was there, but it was as if on the side. I felt great, I felt great. I was with Mrs. Basia today. I had a great time giving her auto suggestions about her burned laptop. I sat on the computer for a long time - During training, I thought to check how much you can earn by drawing coins from the fountain in the morning. I already imagined how I could earn a double as much to my pension a month this way. 20 PLN a day from 3 fountains would give 600 PLN. It would be nice :) Tomorrow I will go for a run and do this experiment - In addition, I need to change my home calendar, for example to StarWars. I don't really like these flowers. I don't like them at all. Either stick something on top or print your own. I don't like this one. I do not want to note anything in it. - I burned the pages a moment ago. But it got drunk at home. I think I need to stop doing this here at home, and I have to do this fire ritual somewhere in the field. Here at home he is not suitable for this, yet my mother will tell me for some spells or magic. Because she asked what it was all about - Tomorrow in the morning I also have to buy a tree of happiness for Father's Day. - One of my plans for today was to make a calendar in goose. I feel like doing WFM more.