Fuck again. 2

July 8 - Again Fuck Gowno 2 - Depressively, I was lying in bed, on my neck. Receiver from the back. The neck stiffens a bit, especially in the eyes. Like cpun, even though I didn't take anything - Strange dreams: one that I stuffed myself with a loaf of bread that I hid in the cellar. The second was with Kasia Skrzypczak. I wanted to confess my love to her, but I did not have the courage. We talked about her headache and that she was training Yoga. Why did I dream she? She was my infatuation with the times of primary school, then I probably never thought about her again ... - I took the tram. Depressive, hopeless state. Yes, I prefer to take the tram rather than stuff myself with food. I took Tramal with an apple and a pear 100mg. I divided it into 3 parts. In a moment, he will add some drops to his head and coffee - OK, it's 8:00. I already feel the first satisfactory effects of the tram :) I feel great again :) I made a little mistake with mixing a pear with an apple - sweet should not be mixed with a sour one, which resulted in a smelly bakery that even my mother felt. After 30 minutes, coffee and Venol. But it is rather an Apple with a Pear - I felt it already eating that it was not a good composition, hence such a reaction of the body. As a medicine, I feel the need for Inke's bitter coffee. But this is not such a big mistake. Who knows, maybe after running I will have even more energy and a desire to act :) - Fuck, the tramal came in brilliantly. It is 8:27. Conclusion - tramal goes well with fruit. At macikowski's he did not come as well as today :) I feel great! :) - A moment in bed, Gourang's breath and a stronger voice after 4 breaths. - Maciejowa jogging, beautiful weather, MegaPower, no fatigue. I could compete with the tram. After running the entire episode, I wanted more and more. Even more. At the top, I met a nice girl. Butter eyes, nice loudspeaker, pretty and kind. I think we liked each other :) - On the way back, I was breathing Gourang. The voice was momentarily stronger. But coming back, I also felt stress. Because the phone, because I did not do the projects and I did not fulfill the contract. So Stress. It's a pity, stressful tram, but this moment of running on the tram was really beautiful! I hope that soon I will install Endomondo and I will do an experiment on a tram and without a tram. - A moment ago, when I was at home, I was just breathing the diaphragm deeply in a 4-4 system. I would actually call it 10-10. I was just freely breathing while on my stomach and lying in the living room. Mother to the river. A pleasant blog of ants. I felt light and at ease. Very discreet technique when someone is nearby, on the go. Oh, and I didn't inflate my lungs and exhale somehow. I was just breathing deeply relaxing. The voice may not be strong but there were nice ants. I feel blogging, calm and relaxed, relaxed. The technique can also be brilliant for traveling by bus where people are looking at you. - I was eating a separate diet today. Snaidan only steamers, previously a lot of apples. Potatoes for lunch and meat and 4 steamers for dinner. Today I felt full of energy - After 6 pm I was running to Maciejowa for the second time. At the top, a woman spoke about ticks. There I ate meat and drank water earlier. - Now I have eaten shells forever. After all, you have to start eating them more often. - Moreover, I have decided. I quit my job at TGS ... I have to do it as soon as possible. - After running in the evening I feel very tired. I feel like you will sleep well today. - Although there is one advantage worth describing today. After running, I don't even think about chlamydia for a few hours. Running is a great form of active meditation. Finally, a breath. When there is a hateful thought, I speed up, I rest calmly. This is a sweet form of observing your thoughts.

Fuck again

July 7 - Again Fucking Gowno - Wake up a bit after midnight, or before ... - Number porting to Nju Mobile. I even read the regulations - very nice and legible. - Now, until 4:00 am sitting in front of the PC and reading about Zus, pefronie, niezelnarańni.pl, Reading and transparency. I like this :) - 9:40 Maciejowa running. I think 22kHz ultrasounds are working - 10 mitowns on health 5. You can put anything really, a leaf of mint or basil, grains of fennel, etc. The effect of restoring the correct pH in the mouth thanks to the increased secretion of saliva will take place, and at the same time we do not damage our health with a chemical chewing gum. 6. Protein: the cow does not get protein from meat, but from green plants. Or such infants, who triple their weight during the year, need a lot of protein for growth, while breast milk only has about 1.8% of it (for comparison : carrot juice approx. 1.4%, in boiled potatoes or oatmeal 1.8%) and it is miraculously enough for such a fast-growing baby. At this age, the Hunz give birth to children and wonder what they will do for the next 65 years. Here, at this age, a citizen is ill because he must, it is expected of him. He is already an old grandfather. For Christmas, she can only get Biovital or warm socks. 8. Yoghurt is healthy food, but not all yoghurt! Beware of commercial fruit yoghurt, they are often added sugar or artificial sweetener, often have artificial colors and flavors added because the industrial fruit pulp is processed from inferior quality of fruit. These strawberries are painted only on the packaging, let's face it. Do not expect health effects from such a product. 9. Butter and margarine: In a dispute, butter and margarine trust the cows better than the chemists. Seriously! Anyway, the butter is a natural fat. Margarine, on the other hand, is an invention of a modern man, who wanted to imitate Mother Nature, but, as usual, it did not work out. Moreover, margarines are full of other unnatural substances, their production uses a lot of chemicals (bleaches, hexanes, mono and di-glycerides of fatty acids, flavors, dyes, artificial vitamins, sterols, emulsifiers and preservatives). In a word, margarine is a Frankenstein meal that comes from a lab. Do not feed your body with it, which comes from Mother Nature. 10. 2 liters of water: Don't let anyone tell you how much water you should drink per day. Always listen to your body, watch the color of your urine (it shouldn't be almost white or dark, but straw-colored) and stop counting your glasses of water. We will have a different water requirement on a hot day and another on a winter one. Excess water can kill too! If you eat a lot of raw, juicy vegetables and fruit or drink their juices, then in normal weather you will not be dehydrated and you do not have to stick to the strict norm of an additional 2 liters of water a day. let your only guru be your own body. - Luminous souls - Radio Krakow - Radio Krakow Marillion - Neverland - Today I have finished reading the textbook of Neurology, then reading Rheumatology - I read it quickly and photographically - For lunchtime, I ate only the cucumber salad. Sweat physical and mental well-being! Light hunger, then I ate some broad beans - I was afraid of this head tumor in the evening. I felt like something was already attacking me from the right side. I sat down for meditation / affirmation looking at H. Louise's affirmations, but after a while I felt a hate. Thoughts of suicide. - And again later, later tomorrow on the Gerland case and the Malgosia project. Mainly did it again. I do not want to live. I wish to die. Over and over again. Sometimes I want to live and act, sometimes I want to do nothing, sometimes I want to kill myself ... - Affirmowalem / Medytowalem: I want to kill myself, I want to kill myself. It seemed to hold my awareness and at one point I saw faint, indistinct images. I was starting to sleep ... - More to write to me, I do not want to ... Fuck!

Bulimia

July 6 - Bulimia - Wake up 3:57. It's interesting, yesterday I ate some 1500-1700 kcal and I woke up well rested a bit before 4:00. In addition, a feeling of light hunger, probably because I did not eat very friendly food. I sat down to repair Mateusz's computer and WFM meditation with writing in the notebook what he felt (the old window was actually open yesterday). - Dishing up to 7-9 slices of chalet + bread. At the beginning, I ate it with a sense of pleasure, and this is also the affirmation I wrote down for myself. However, later I was guilty and decided to try vomiting it. So I left the house, I induced vomiting, but after 2 attempts I gave up. I couldn't. Maybe I did it too late, or maybe I don't know how to do it yet. I threw up something in there, but way too little. - In the morning I also made Matthew's computer fast. What I could have done was So I decided that I would go up to run for 1 hour and when I came back I would breathe. It always burns something, in addition to 2 p.m. I will not eat anything anymore, I will only drink water and coffee to clean myself of it. The needles in my head also made me feel slightly after my gluttony attack. How to prevent this from happening in the future: - I experienced what it means to have a big belly in the mirror - I experienced what it means to neutralize the hard results of my work (decrease in the bicep, maybe 34.8 cm) - I have experienced what it means not being able to fasten the buttonhole at the waist - I got this terrible guilt for making me feel like a pig - Affirmation for the year: life itself loves me, nourishes and supports me. I'm safe. I'm safe. It's safe to feel. My feelings are normal and acceptable! Benefits: - I was motivated to catch up for the next 2 days (Saturday and Sunday) and - To devote the next week to running and training your mind. He immediately enters his plans into the google calendar. - Today I chose to run to Maciejowa to the shelter itself. It's not even that far :) Going uphill is really fun. I was in the morning and in the afternoon. In the morning I landed on salt. I thought to learn to hitchhike, but I realized now I am taking a break and I do not want to associate it with bad consciousness, so I will start with the next training week. I got into some old man's car and showed him where the school was. - Moreover, I was to check our plants. Either I don't see them or someone fucked us up - Thanks to the food, I focus on the pleasant tingling instead of the ailments. - Tattoo? - Creating a new account krbroniszewski@gmail.com - I hate you Fucking Father! - Activation (speed reading 1200) I think I was paying attention to the words that interested me - I read about syphilis, Lyme disease in the book on Neurology. Now I feel more confident, as if I am more able to convince the doctor of my opinion - Running Up That Hill and Epica - The more you know, the more confident you are!

Nutella

July 5 - Nutella - Running under stress + late getting up - write down in a notebook - Lukasz Lopata's suggestion 2 meals a day - Steaming with nettles - Niu Mobile PLN 29 for all - After 1pm departure to Nowy Targ - 14:00 Pierzga - this conversation turned out in a strange way. Judging by the photo, in the period when the cpn attacked the spine, she said that it could be ankylosing spondylitis (gassed photo) - Then I went to my grandfather. Huge mix of feelings, adrenaline, hatred of doctors, and I didn't know what to say. I handed him my pen with which I love to write. - Then I had to react. I was running around Nowy Targ - Shop, picking up a parcel from a Top secret parcel locker, buying nice clothes, buying a nice shirt at dad's, sending a parcel, I was full of adrenaline and I felt so mentally excited about it. This is probably the effect of today's diet plus running, but at the same time - I was still thinking that the pain would come back soon. - Jadzia made me sick: once I come fat, once thin ... Now I'm terribly thin - These clothes from TopSecret in size M were super tight on me! I fucking liked them. - At home, I ate nutella with chocolate. The whole jar. And then guilt and meditation and self-hatred. I don't know what she's feeling, actually. I meditated with the affirmation: life itself loves me, nourishes and supports me + my feelings are normal and worthy of acceptance - And stress at the same time. Because I didn't do Mateusz's computer, because I didn't do anything for the company ... What a mess in life - I am so damn reluctant to write my Chronicles, and I wrote down the key events in points. And so much has happened today and I could easily write much more here ... - I'm stuffing myself like a pig. Supposedly, from Monday I should resume training, but I feel that I will wait another week. So, 1-2 weeks have proven to myself enough to develop a new habit. Only I have developed another habit in this way - laziness from training and sunbathing, and I smoke for running and adrenaline ...

Mr. is nervous

July 4 - Mr.JustNervous - Departure buried: you are nervous. I adjusted my character a little to the doctor with whom I spoke. They probably saw a healthy, well-dressed and handsome man. Next time hairstyle change and more seriousness! - Spa treatments are free of charge. The doctor will gladly write you out (rehabilitation clinic) - A girl opened the restroom - High excitement - A great surge of energy at home. I was talking quickly, dynamically and without stress. I felt great (almost only fruit, not counting bread) - Grandpa in the hospital. - Running (black warrior). I felt very happy and full of energy. Running for nearly an hour to the rhythm of rock music. Full of various thoughts and imaginations. Probably because I practically did not have chlamydia :) - Astronaut training In addition to good health and fitness, astronauts need 9 key skills Prioritizing tasks to identify the most urgent and important ones; Concentrating on one task at a time and ignoring everything else; Think quickly and clearly and be effective under stress; See the overall picture while concentrating on a specific task; Deal with failure and move quickly to the next attempt to solve the problem; Attitudes on cooperation in a group; Good communication - fast, precise and to the point; Good eye-hand coordination for the operation of vehicles, machines and robots; Staying in tight spaces for a long time; - During the day, I practically did not travel (I ate only fruits) I feel that this is the positive cause (medicine) - Until the evening when .... I mixed 2-3 eggs with salty broad beans eating at a late time. - New technique: pain observation calling where it is (like imageStreaming) - MODIFICATION: Meditation 9:00 PM, then work. Not only that, meditating at this time of day gives me energy and I enjoy doing it. - I wrote the truth on a piece of paper: advantages and disadvantages of this meal. This calmed me down because I analyzed it. The truth: both advantages and disadvantages. At the end, this one advantage and somehow the body will use this food well, because I do not have mycosis or any infection. I felt calmer :) - AF: I can convince people to myself: to my opinion.

Morning energy

July 3 - Morning Energy - Energetic morning run - 5:00 two Inca coffees - 6:00 Inca guarana (probably around this time) - 8:00 apples - It was a great run. Nearly 1 hour. I couldn't tear myself away from running :) - Physically and mentally, I felt confident. Again I felt that I was a true master of a cut retort. I guessed (bit) my mother a little. I felt like a god again. I felt really great! - During the day I started a little bit of the program for malgosia, although again I did not do much. At least I started something. - Persuasion, refusal to work. Better be silent than lying. Instead of making excuses, I can't do better. (then you arouse curiosity). - Marcin's cramps were simply overwhelming. I did not want to do these projects, pain in addition, my hypochondria. - Pretty good persuasion. It's going to be 13 or after 14. Others: I can't come today, I'll call you in 2 hours. At least I did not explain myself like some pussy that my mouse broke ... - Now I was bitten by mosquitoes in 6-7 places during the night. The wandering pain is stronger and I still think about it ... In the afternoon it was not so bad, only thoughts circled around the pain - And again a lapse. He's suicidal again. Just how to commit suicide here. Many times in my life I wanted to, but never really had the courage. How can I do to ... Not to suffer ... I was defeated. - I don't want to live again. I'm going to wash myself. I'm going to sleep ... Even though it's only 20:26. Shit on the evening meditation. Tomorrow I have to register for Zakopane. On Friday to the Rheumatologist. Fuck me ... - Pain, pain, pain - how to get out of that fucking pain. And even if it doesn't hurt, I don't do anything. And such a vague circle: laziness, pain, meditation, diets, exercise, pain ...

Pomeranian is dead

July 2 - Pomorski NieZyje - a lot of sandwiches for breakfast, probably 6-7 with butter. Earlier strawberries. - Rafal Pawlik Morning + notebook. He broke my code :) I need to protect it better. - running: mom meeting. - EXPERIMENT: Inka + Citrosept + 100mg Tramal + shower (relax) + stretching - Chaotic preparations for today's visit at Macikowski's - I prepared for this purpose an excursion dinner which I ate later - I was getting ready to sit quietly in the bus - On the spot in the hospital it turned out that Dr. Macikowski is 1-2 hours late. On entering I simulated the hips (batteries in shoes), eye (sol). Unfortunately, as usual, I didn't do much. At least, out of his own free will, he wrote me some rehabilitation treatments :) I also fixed the sound on the computer for him. It took me 2 minutes. - I drank a lot of grapefruit juice. Interestingly, despite the fact that I took the tram around 12, I did not feel its effects for a long time. On the bus to NT, that is, a little before 4 p.m. I decided to take another dose of it - He worked in the hospital. Pleasant relax blogs. And I took the tramal to falsify the neurological examinations. Unfortunately, the doctor did not have the opportunity to examine me. I suppose that once the doctor examines you, he doesn't want to do it anymore - according to their nonsense procedures, it has already been examined. Not everyone studies as reliably and thoroughly as feathers. The end and period are checked once. - Going to register for the next visit, it turned out that dr. Pomeranian is dead. There is no urology clinic at the moment. A little bit so to speak choked me. I felt sorry for the guest ... - Before going to the hospital, I read an email from Vanessa saying that in the coming year I would be facing ... a court ... or similar administrative matters. The only thing that comes to my mind is counterfeiting prescriptions .... Gee, that's how I started to think about it and worry about it that I completely fell out of the game and my self-confidence to the neurologist ... Then I made up a bit, but still didn't do everything. Maybe 60-70%. I didn't even take the result of the consultation. - I made an appointment with Marcin in the office for tomorrow. - Coming back home, under the influence of a large dose of tramal with grapefruit and other additives, I went to the spa café. I took a seat, ordered a juice and sat on a comfortable armchair. I asked Pania for a wifi password and decided to meditate a bit. Exactly. I have developed a specific breathing technique for my meditation. It is about letting the body breathe in when it needs it. This makes observation easier. And that's all. And so I was stuck in the spa cafe until 21:30. It was nice to order something, this juice for PLN 3 and enjoy the mental comfort and made something new and in addition I'm in a luxurious restaurant :) - I ate again for the night. This guilt again ... I didn't want to eat, but I ate chicken in the park. At home, too, and a miserable kitchen, and this is after all a meal for the evening. In addition, do not train. Eh, my guilt is zeroing me. Fuck mac. I think I need to stop affirmations for some time, I eat when and only when I'm hungry. I will come back to it next week when I start training. - In addition, today was a day where I hardly wandered chlamydia. - A very interesting and successful day. - Oh, while still in the hospital, I heard a lady tell stories like: because he was young and the doctor said that he was fine. Where have I heard this... - It's just before 23:00. A moment ago my mother, that fucking whore and bitch attacked me again! She, as usual, has this, her feminine, manipulative voice towards me: take it easy: - get the fuck off me - what do you need? variegated, then take me not to bother (putting on headphones) - go ahead and think about yourself and your actions. - maybe not too original, but at least I came up with something.